"Which reminds me of the other bloke in the long coat I saw my first day -- he was pale and very -- his face was very sculpted? -- and he had long dark hair, and was dressed sort of -- unusually, but not in the sort of way that immediately draws one's attention. I think he had on a waistcoat and tie, along with the LONG BLACK COAT WHICH FLOWED OUT BEHIND HIM."

I WOULD HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HIM. I mean, really. Long, dark hair and sculpted face? These are all precisely to my preference. And a waistcoat and tie? LONG BLACK COAT WHICH FLOWED OUT BEHIND HIM?!?! Are you sure that, in this rift of dimensions we've been currently experiencing, the man of my dreams that I have not yet fully pictured accidentally sprang into existence for the wrong person?