"but how are you supposed to find romance if you don't go to bars?"

[ontology]

At work today I was informed by my co-worker (male, twenty-five) that I need to cut loose more often. Apparently this is because my two-week holiday with my family next month will not involve drinking, partying, and picking up strange men in bars. "Getting drunk isn't my idea of fun at all," I said. "Hangovers are really not my idea of fun." He kind of looked at me and protested, "Don't knock it till you try it!" Uh, thanks, co-worker, but no thank you. (Disclaimer: very much not a teetotaller. If it weren't illegal, what with me being not quite nineteen, I would probably have a glass of -- very fruity and girly -- wine fairly often.) But seriously, I have no desire to lose all of my inhibitions and do things I would be justifiably embarrassed about later, possibly even ashamed of, not to mention putting myself in danger. Also, hangover. No-one enjoys a hangover. Why not just avoid them altogether by being responsible with the drink? Also, strange men in bars? Yuck.

But -- seriously? I am uptight? I need to cut loose? I mean... no one has ever said this to me before. Ever. And when I told my parents they laughed even harder than I had.

In other news, I persuaded a girl to buy a copy of A Countess Below Stairs. Hurrah! Also need to write post for book blog BUT WHAT ABOUT.

Comments

[papertowns.livejournal.com]

Meh. People who think the only way to "cut loose" is to get drunk clearly have no imagination or originality.

[the-stook.livejournal.com]

how loose do you need to be?

"there was a street fair down the block from our house .... and I danced, and it was marvellous. I am always so very happy when I am dancing"

ask your co-worker when he last danced in the street.

[lady-moriel.livejournal.com]

He kind of looked at me and protested, "Don't knock it till you try it!"

I can never think to say this when people say something like that to me, but...really? Does this go for all experiences? Like, maybe I would actually enjoy having surgery without anesthesia or jamming a fork through my hand; how do I know since I haven't tried it? And also, you know the common wisdom about learning from your mistakes? Learning from other people's mistakes is an even better idea, because then you don't have to make them yourself!

And yes. You are clearly uptight because you do not subscribe to the (actually quite narrow) societal definitions of having fun, which generally seem to involve lots of sex and substances that are not overly good for the body.

Also need to write post for book blog BUT WHAT ABOUT.

...vampire books better than Twilight? The tragic duty of booksellers to destroy remaindered books? The difference between good and bad covers or good and bad blurbs?

[travellers-home.livejournal.com]

Ditto what papertowns said... it seems so obvious that there are better and more fun things to do than get drunk with creepy people and getting a migrane the next day, but the multitude refuse to see this. Poor sad world...

[tobie-rosemary.livejournal.com]

Get used to the conversation about getting drunk (or rather not doing so), because I promise you will have it many more times with other people, though most of them will be young men in the same age range. *rolls eyes*

[sunfiremarie.livejournal.com]

Perhaps if there was some kind of Tolkien-esque tavern outside of this era filled with magical uncertainties, you might enjoy some dandelion-wine or some such there...

But I don't believe the men with minds and hearts and sacred imaginations to match yours are to be found in any typical American bar.

They're out there, though. In the places that you're naturally drawn to, wanting not to "cut loose" but to be free.

[charismitaine.livejournal.com]

Getting plastered = not as interesting as I was led to believe. It does make for an entertaining story, because apparently when I am drunk I prove that I am not drunk shouting about T.S. Eliot while failing to walk properly, but I can't say that I did anything while intoxicated that I would not have done stone-cold sober. Except perhaps to fall down more often. My inhibitions remained in place, I didn't feel braver, more attractive, or more clever, I just felt like a very dizzy version of myself.

I'm glad that I now know how I behave when drunk, and I'm glad to know that so far none of my alcoholic experiences led to hangovers, but I frankly don't like alcohol enough to pay for more than one social drink.

But some articles I've read on personality types have led me to believe that getting drunk is a very different experience for other people--a very enjoyable experience, as hard as I find it to believe. My co-workers certainly seem to like it, and any time they're joking about drinking or say something off-color they feel the need to apologize to me--apparently I give the impression of being a very Good Girl (I do try, but still--I was in theatre! I have heard it all, and accidentally walked in on it in the green room). And, eh, some people juggle geese.

[suangelita.livejournal.com]

Hangovers are all dependent on how you drink, and what you do aside from drink. If you've eaten and make sure to stay hydrated (drink lots of water), then the chances of you having a hangover are very, very low. I've had one once, and it was waaay mild.

Secondly, tipsy is kinda fun. Light drunk (enough to lose some inhibitions, be silly, feel tipsy, etc.) is fun, at least for me. ;) But, of course, your mileage may vary.

I certainly don't drink enough to get addicted to it, though, lol. For instance, I've got like 4 hard lemonades in my fridge and I could very easily grab one whenever I want. They've been sitting there for 5 days now. ;)

[sirwynai.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's pretty obvious that the guy doesn't know that there is fun outside of drinking, which is kind of sad. But you are simply awesome without drinking and that is even better. :D

I need to start reading books again...

Hello and end random comment! :D

[tsunamisama.livejournal.com]

It is indeed rather amusing when people assume that you will only be happy if you accept the imposition of their value system upon your behaviour. That said:

-You are more uptight than you think you are, and
-It would not hurt your sociological development one bit to step outside your comfort zone and attend a few such functions now and again.

Not saying you have to go get yourself drunk (although a drink or two might not hurt) or hit on strange men (although chatting with them certainly wouldn't hurt) -- just saying you might be quite surprised by how stimulating and enjoyable such events can be. In moderation and with proper discretion, of course.

[burningstarsxe.livejournal.com]

Sheeeesh. I really don't get people. How can you define a night as 'good' or 'fun' by the fact that you DON'T REMEMBER IT. I prefer having fun which is actually fun, that I can remember and doesn't leave me with liver damage and serious headaches the following morning.

[spockodile.livejournal.com]

I've only been to two bars, and I disliked both as environments. That said, I did enjoy both experiences in some ways.

1. On May 5, 2008, a coworker and I left our coffee shop after work and stopped in a few bar/restaurant type places. At the time, I was 20, so we couldn't go in all sorts. But the Mexican place had a certain life and vitality to it that was completely understandable given that it was a Mexican holiday. We walked up and down looking for a good band, but the good bands were playing in 21+ places. We eventually settled in one fairly quiet bar and met some folks who came from some South American country. We chatted about culture in different parts of the world, and a variety of other topics before finally heading out.

2. I went to an Irish place with my cousin in Boston and downed two pints of Guinness while listening to live Irish music. Of course, the lights were dim, the drinks weren't cheap, and everything was far too loud. But it was an interesting experience and it was fun to do things with my cousin that she likes to do for fun.

With that first bar trip, I was on the verge of not going, because I didn't think I'd enjoy aany of it, and it would be uncomfortable and a waste of time. But I decided to stretch a little and see what I might be able to appreciate, in my own way.

Ultimately, I know what I like and anyone who tells me that I'm X because I don't do Y can go suck eggs. However, I have found that trying something new and hating it has been healthier for my general development than abstaining from trying a thing far outside my norms.

Wow, this comment is way too long. Sorry. :P

[callme-al01.livejournal.com]

Anybody who thinks real fun only comes from vomiting and exposing oneself to the chance of STD's is an idiot.

[wanderlight.livejournal.com]

ARGH.
Alcohol is a bit of a sore spot for me, as at the end of last year all of my peers became legal and began making a HUGE DEAL over it. Even the ones who didn't get puking-drunk and make fools of themselves at least once made a huge deal, and it's just alcohol, for -- er, anyway, end rant.

I personally don't like the taste of alcohol, but given the right glass of very fruity and girly wine, I would probably enjoy it also. But only in the company of very good friends, and without even approaching drunk!

You are more fun without alcohol than everyone else is drunk or sober, so there. :D