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still moving, bah
Sep. 29th, 2008 07:29 pmI am absolutely exhausted to the very dregs of myself: emotionally, physically, spiritually (ecumenically, grammatically...). Thank God, the worst seems to be just about over. I am so very very ready not to be moving anymore, lugging boxes of last-minute miscellany from the house to the yard to the car, scrubbing windowsills and walls and getting ammonia under my fingernails and not showering and having approximately no sleep and hardly any decent food, now that we've stopped ordering out every day but haven't got to the point yet where we can stock our cupboards.
Today was the worst day. I thought yesterday was, but today has taken the medal. By mid-afternoon, still cleaning out the gorram old house, I was sobbing with exhaustion and then sobbing because I felt like a failure for not having kept my chin up on the last leg of all this, and then sobbing because hang it all, it felt good to cry. I have so much pent-up frustration and anguish and worry and things that have been staying pent in because apparently my body does not let my cry anymore, and I think a lot of this was retroactive weeping? Anyway. Today has been bad. It will get better. We get to arrange things now and I get to figure out how to use the awesomely 1970s oven and fill my four very shelf-tastic closets and sleep for three days until I feel human again.
Today was the worst day. I thought yesterday was, but today has taken the medal. By mid-afternoon, still cleaning out the gorram old house, I was sobbing with exhaustion and then sobbing because I felt like a failure for not having kept my chin up on the last leg of all this, and then sobbing because hang it all, it felt good to cry. I have so much pent-up frustration and anguish and worry and things that have been staying pent in because apparently my body does not let my cry anymore, and I think a lot of this was retroactive weeping? Anyway. Today has been bad. It will get better. We get to arrange things now and I get to figure out how to use the awesomely 1970s oven and fill my four very shelf-tastic closets and sleep for three days until I feel human again.
No internet at the house yet -- at either house, actually, because I think it was disconnected today -- but the library is still juuuuust down the road, so I will be popping in more frequently now (I hope). And tomorrow, DirecTV installation party arrives. Aaaand the library is closing, and Mum will be back with chickens (dead and cooked) in a few minutes, so I'd best run off home.
