I never actualy did rant about it publically, because the whole thing in my head was so long and complicated, but the book was Stephanie Meyer's Twilight, which was superficially annoying for hinting at a nice gothic aesthetic and NEVER DELIVERING--it has one of the coolest covers ever, and the main characters have got severely gothic names that sound sort of silly when there isn't anything gothic happening, and BEING ABOUT VAMPIRES, you would think that it would be...yeah. Instead, it was ABOUT HIGH-SCHOOL DRAMA, and vampires with all of the inconvenient bits taken out (i.e. the more interesting bits).
I think where it really lost me was when we discover that not only does sunlight not vaporise vampires, it makes them TWICE AS HAWT, because their skin goes all glowy and glittery and stuff. >_< Also it had no plot and consisted mostly of Look, A Hawt Vampire Guy Who Protag Is Madly In Love With For No Particular Reason, until the author decided to tack some action on at the end. And even then there is no interesting gothic aesthetic, despite Protag being held captive by scary vampire in an abandoned dance hall, the awesome possibilities of which were completely ignored.
All of this wouldn't have made me particularly angry, just a bit vexed--what really got me going was the weird, unhealthy ideas that started cropping up. First off, Bella the Protag confesses in the beginning that her mother is her best friend, but not long after, she falls madly and clichedly in love with Hawt Vampire Edward, and suddenly he is The Only Thing That Matters, Ever. This is stressed repeatedly throughout the book: she can't live without him, life without him is meaningless, she loves him more than anything else ever, including people like, you know, HER PARENTS, who she's known all of her life, and she's only acquainted with Hawt Vampire for a few months. This is presented as being awesome and romantic. >_<
AND THEN. AND THEN. At the end, she wangsts about how SHE IS NOT A VAMPIRE, and all she wants is to be a vampire so that she can be with him forever (literally), and her parents don't matter, blah blah blee. ARGH. What kind of message are you passing on to the sentimental young girls who are reading this??
So, I paced around the room ranting in my head for half an hour about stuff I don't remember, but the thing I mostly recall is pondering what an actual romance with a vampire would be like, portrayed as realistically as such can. I mean, for me, I can't get buy a romance if I can't imagine these people living their lives together. So, why does nobody ever seem to consider this sort of thing in vampiremances? And also, don't these women (or men, I suppose; there must be female vampires being lust objects somewhere) consider the dangers of--stuff? So he's hot--he's also UNDEAD AND POSSIBLY EVIL and vants to suck your blood. Allowing him to shag you is probably inadviseable, but this is only even considered superficially. (And you don't get mother-freaking-out scenes--'YOUR BOYFRIEND IS WHAT?' and mother lecturing Vampire Boyfriend all 'who do you think you are?' and stuff.) I was also ranting about the lack of gothic aesthetic, and being nagged by the 'if you want it done right, do it yourself' thought and masterfully banishing it, but it was very persistent, and then Evangeline started nattering in my head, and things Happened. (Although I don't know how much I'm going to be dealing with the former topic, honestly.
...Gosh, that was long. This is the condensed, breakneck-speed, 'I need to get off the computer, make this quick' version, too. *headdesk*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 02:43 am (UTC)I think where it really lost me was when we discover that not only does sunlight not vaporise vampires, it makes them TWICE AS HAWT, because their skin goes all glowy and glittery and stuff. >_< Also it had no plot and consisted mostly of Look, A Hawt Vampire Guy Who Protag Is Madly In Love With For No Particular Reason, until the author decided to tack some action on at the end. And even then there is no interesting gothic aesthetic, despite Protag being held captive by scary vampire in an abandoned dance hall, the awesome possibilities of which were completely ignored.
All of this wouldn't have made me particularly angry, just a bit vexed--what really got me going was the weird, unhealthy ideas that started cropping up. First off, Bella the Protag confesses in the beginning that her mother is her best friend, but not long after, she falls madly and clichedly in love with Hawt Vampire Edward, and suddenly he is The Only Thing That Matters, Ever. This is stressed repeatedly throughout the book: she can't live without him, life without him is meaningless, she loves him more than anything else ever, including people like, you know, HER PARENTS, who she's known all of her life, and she's only acquainted with Hawt Vampire for a few months. This is presented as being awesome and romantic. >_<
AND THEN. AND THEN. At the end, she wangsts about how SHE IS NOT A VAMPIRE, and all she wants is to be a vampire so that she can be with him forever (literally), and her parents don't matter, blah blah blee. ARGH. What kind of message are you passing on to the sentimental young girls who are reading this??
So, I paced around the room ranting in my head for half an hour about stuff I don't remember, but the thing I mostly recall is pondering what an actual romance with a vampire would be like, portrayed as realistically as such can. I mean, for me, I can't get buy a romance if I can't imagine these people living their lives together. So, why does nobody ever seem to consider this sort of thing in vampiremances? And also, don't these women (or men, I suppose; there must be female vampires being lust objects somewhere) consider the dangers of--stuff? So he's hot--he's also UNDEAD AND POSSIBLY EVIL and vants to suck your blood. Allowing him to shag you is probably inadviseable, but this is only even considered superficially. (And you don't get mother-freaking-out scenes--'YOUR BOYFRIEND IS WHAT?' and mother lecturing Vampire Boyfriend all 'who do you think you are?' and stuff.) I was also ranting about the lack of gothic aesthetic, and being nagged by the 'if you want it done right, do it yourself' thought and masterfully banishing it, but it was very persistent, and then Evangeline started nattering in my head, and things Happened. (Although I don't know how much I'm going to be dealing with the former topic, honestly.
...Gosh, that was long. This is the condensed, breakneck-speed, 'I need to get off the computer, make this quick' version, too. *headdesk*