oh the dreadful wind & rain! (& snow & sleet & ice!)

[ontology]

I twined my smallest strand of fairy lights all around my iron headboard this evening, and when the lights are turned off in my bedroom, they send faint finger-touches of colour all about the walls and the bedspread like little blessings.

Thus far the Day Off has been a success. I did not, as I often do, spend a lot of time getting around to accomplishing something, and ending my day of lazy leisure with a thick feeling of disappointment. It took a while, but I did do things eventually -- went to the library (that was purely for pleasure, but as it involved running two blocks in the bitter cold, it woke up my senses enough to get to the Next Step), made a large lunch, cleaned my bedroom. I listened to NPR all day, which I have sorely missed, and -- well, I would have slept in if not for my appointment with Dr DiGilarmo at ten am, which I also ran to (only a block, though). I feel a little less -- jumbled about, now, I think, in some ways? And -- several weeks ago he had me take a test for ADHD, and the questions made me laugh because I was checking "VERY OFTEN" for nearly all of them, so he had me take another one today, to see how consistent my scores were, and -- they were pretty ruddy consistent. So I have an appointment with my doctor on Friday ...  

(I'm rather optimistic about this -- even depression treatment hasn't cleared up some of my messiest mental problems: the fatigue, the inability to concentrate, the way I keep drifting around life unable to touch anything; the way I can never, ever, ever finish projects, or half the time start them; the general feeling of my head never being clear, like my bedroom, except I know how to clean that, and my head just keeps getting more and more cluttered and disorganised and uncomfortable. If I can just straighten out my head -- I think a lot of things come through after that.)

One of the points of interest I was too exhausted to remember last night is that we got our Christmas tree last week, and Saturday morning Mum & the siblings & I decorated it before I went to work. (It wasn't quite right, doing it in daylight, but we had a Christmas open house for members of our little church that evening, so we couldn't wait till after I got home.) Our Christmas tree is always such a fun colourful jumble of unique ornaments, each humming with memories. Of course Leandra keeps trying to run off with them ...  And the fireplace mantle has a garland entwined with fairy lights, and the stockings are up, and there are extra boughs from the tree nestled around the sconces on each end of the far wall: everything is marvellously cosy.

And now for bed... ! (Maybe.)

Comments

[greyeyedpixie.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed your day off, hon.

[lady-moriel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, work is...incredibly good at chewing up your entire day. It's hard to get anything done on a day off, too, because all you really want to do is sleep and veg out in front of the computer. So that's great that you did get things done. I need to put up some fairy lights, too--I've had some really awesome ones for almost a year that haven't gone up, plus a couple strings of plain white lights...I should just toss those up somewhere when I get home. Although I suspect my room needs cleaning really, really badly, because I don't remember the state I left it in but I bet it was messy. That happens when I'm gone a lot and then come back and then leave again.

And I really want to see Christmas decorations at home. It does my heart good to see all the lights up in town, and they're prettier than what goes up in Anchorage--mostly because a lot of streets here and in other places in Europe are narrow enough to cross strings of lights over them, which always looks wonderfully magical, and that doesn't really happen at home. But I want to see our Christmas tree even if I didn't help decorate it, and...stuff.