(no subject)

[ontology]

I started to write a post and it was coming out all wrong, and sounded sort of distant and cross, even though I am not really. (I've had a bit more fudge than is traditionally good for the stomach, but today has worked out fairly decent.) Although when I think of things I ought to be doing I rather want to crawl into a hole and go to sleep. I shall not linger on the internet tonight; I shall go upstairs and light up a lot of candles and play music very loudly and do something useful that is also pleasant.

Poker is grand fun, by the way.

I think I am still battling residual miserable-ness left over from yesterday: I couldn't sleep all the night before, had church in the morning, through which I mostly slept, and it was horrifically cold, and then I had to go to work, and ended up arriving an hour late, because someone changed the schedule from the one I have been following for the last two months when I wasn't looking. (Fortunately the girl I was replacing didn't really notice either, so we worked the shifts we were used to, and she wasn't narked when I didn't show up.) Then there was a lot of mess with getting out half an hour late, and running around trying to find Mum's car outside in painfully cold weather, and by the time I got home I would have been homicidal had I not been bone-weary. Which is to say: today was good and I enjoyed a lot of it. But just now I feel out of sorts: both in that I am somewhat cross, and in that I don't feel as though all of my parts line up quite evenly. (It could have been eating more fudge than is generally considered wise. I am not very good at stopping myself, even though I know that too much food seems to affect me more than it does other people.)

Today is Mum's birthday. Happy birthday Mum! Dad took her out to eat, and they're back now, which is good, because Leandra was getting a serious headway in demolishing the entire house. (I say this with fondness.) 

I am a little sad that the Christmas season seems to have happened mostly without me again this year. I love this time of year -- but lots of it has been eaten up by Retail and my head being shut down, and it's nearly Christmas and I don't taste much magic in the air. I want to live life every minute. It keeps slipping away when I turn my head. I want to wander down one morning to the glimmer ot the tree and the lights on the mantle and have it catch at me. I want to be so hungry for Christmas morning that I can barely stand to wait anymore. I want to sing sacred songs to a church that isn't empty.

(I kind of want to go and watch cosy British telly now. But also: doing something which echoes into the future has a way of adding colour to a whole day.)

Comments

[barefoottomboy.livejournal.com]

Here's wishing you a taste of the magic.

♥