how to calm down

[ontology]

It's one of those days where I can't soothe myself -- I'm jumpy and panicky and close to nauseated for no apparent reason and can't concentrate. Usually this means I spent most of the day faffing around and making myself feel worse. I wouldn't say that this sort of thing happens all the time, but it happens frequently enough that I need to find a coping stratagem. So... how do you calm yourself? Especially when you're jittery and uncomfortable purely as the result of chemicals doing silly things in your head? Trying to work on something productive but low-stress, like reading some of my more interesting research books, maybe working on icons or photography, organising thoughts and/or inspiration on the Novel if I'm not in a state to actually write, tends to alleviate the urgent sense of guilt (yep, I get purely chemical guilt, too, in addition to the guilt-as-default-response I already deal with! fun stuff), but that's not much use if I can't make myself concentrate on it. Sometimes eating helps, because when I'm depressed or have a cold my eating schedule goes way off balance, but that's usually just because some of the nausea or jitters are from not having eaten properly. I have a relaxing Lush bath bomb from barefoottomboy that, um, I still haven't used, cos when I use it, it will be gone, but it's lavender-scented and if I crumble a wee bit off it's rather soothing. Actually, if I just unwrap it and inhale, it's pretty gorram soothing. (When I have money again: purchase more Lush products. This is not frivolity.) 

So I'm setting down to read London: A Biography and trying to take deep breaths, but I know this isn't going to do half as much as I'd like. Any suggestions, for now and for the future? 

Comments

[missbaxter.livejournal.com]

I find that going for a long walk somewhere out of the city (with or without headphones) often helps, as does Dr. Stuart's Tranquility Tea. Most health/whole food stores, or possibly the health food/tea aisle of the supermarket will carry some sort of soothing medicinal tea, and just plain peppermint is usually good for dealing with nausea. *hugs*

Also, the new layout is quite lovely. :-)

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

Wait, peppermint is calming/nausea reducing? That is the best news I have heard all day. *rubs hands together gleefully* My father is slightly miffed because when I bake a chocolate thing, nine times out of ten I will make it pepperminty. It makes everything yummier tenfold, says I. Chocolate cupcakes... with peppermint icing! Chocolate chip cookies... with peppermint! Brownies... with peppermint! Chocolate chocolate chip buttermilk cookies, full of crushed peppermint! CLEARLY it was my subconscious all along. SO THERE. :D

[spockodile.livejournal.com]

This advice does not work so well with Mrs. Nielson.

I'm not sure if peppermint-chocolate cake/cookies/cupcakes/browning would have the same effect as actual tea made from actual leaves. Although if you disregard my scientific wondering, I'm sure it would still work as a placebo.

Tea is used worldwide for feeling better from emotional and physical ailments. Can't be too wrong, can it? :P

I'm sure sampling a fifth of scotch would be the wrong road to travel... :P

[tempestsarekind.livejournal.com]

Hmm. The biggest thing I do when I feel like that is just to give myself permission *not* to do anything that day. Sometimes I try to push through it, and it usually makes it worse. Obviously if there are things I *have* to do, like teach, then that still happens, but if, after that, I need to sit around in my pajamas and read my favorite books, or watch cooking shows all day, then that's what I do.

[bornofstars.livejournal.com]

I personally find my "from gardens" mix very soothing, because I picked songs that are serene and detached, not emotionally or intellectually engaging. Perhaps you could make a mix like that for yourself.

I recommend baths, because hot water works like nothing else. Tea is a wonder for soothing frayed nerves, especially lemon-flavored green tea and lighter black teas like Lady Grey; coffee tends to affect my mental state badly even if does its job and keeps me awake, though I don't know if that's the case for you. Although it's less attractive, jogging or a vigorous bike ride tend to expend anxious energy too.

And of course doing something engaging but low-stress is an excellent idea too.

♥

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

This is true, I keep meaning to make a soothing mix. I also keep meaning to make a sleep mix, but I only ever think about doing this when I am in bed trying to sleep. Self, getting up, turning on the bright computer, and scrolling through iTunes is not going to help you right now. :p I do listen to Linford Detweiler and the Pride & Prejudice score frequently when stressed. ^-^

Yesss, I really ought to look into more tea! And acquire a teacup or two -- actually, I believe my grandmother's wedding china is technically mine now (my mother's had it for years, but since her parents were divorced when she was a young teenager, so their wedding china has no emotional heirloom significance), and that's got teacups. Cannot drink tea from a mug; it is just wrong. We have a lot of tea knocking about.

♥!

[lady-moriel.livejournal.com]

Psssh, I and everybody I knew in England drinks tea from mugs. Well, or styrofoam/paper cups if you're in Starbucks or something, but still. Hot drinks are meant to be drunk from mugs. It is A Law or something. (Also anything else will get your fingers burnt. Did I show you the tea set I bought in Turkey? Those thin little glass cups? And they serve tea practically boiling, too. It is insanely impractical and I do not understand it.)

[sirwynai.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

To calm down I listen to music, sometimes it doesn't even have to be soothing music, something loud will work just as well. I do have to say that if you want soothing, you should check out Dan Gibson (http://www.last.fm/music/Dan+Gibson) because he mixes instrumental music with nature sounds. Celtic Awakenings is one of my favorite cds of his, though I am currently listening to his Mozart mixed with the ocean for when I go to sleep. It's love.

Another good thing to do is read an old favorite. Books are love.

I hope you feel better. <3

[wanderlight.livejournal.com]

I hope that today was better, love. ♥

I'm going to make a few suggestions that are oddly practical -- I used to find that calming music, activities, etc. never worked for me, so I had to experiment a lot. What works best for me are physical tasks that link me with the real world, because they're less intellectually strenuous than mental tasks (even ones I enjoy), & it's hard to focus on mental things when you're jittery.

The thing that used to help me most when I couldn't calm down & focus in was actually exercise, preferably cardio. A rambling walk wasn't quite enough, it had to be something more vigorous. I think it was largely because it kicked my body into a gear that it typically wasn't in, and the unfamiliar body-state helped shake off the unsettled feelings. Afterwords I typically feel like my mind's been cleared out, too.

Another thing, specifically to combat vague feelings of guilt & anxiety that don't really stem from anywhere: do something simple and positive. Rather than tackling a huge goal, I'd do a quick to-do list item, like tidying a bit of my room, calling someone back if I'd been putting it off for a while, hemming the jeans I'd meant to for months, etc. I find it helps because doing useful tasks you know you can complete (rather than tackling long-term goals, which I only did during confident periods) makes you feel like you have control and are able to move towards goals, if that makes any sense. This is an odd suggestion, I know. ;)

Specifically re. nausea, which I get a lot (typically when I've eaten too much sugar or starch, because blood sugar crashes often make me nauseous and vaguely dizzy): I drink a LOT of water, and then I make sure to eat vegetables and protein for the rest of the day. Another odd practical solution, I know, but I was surprised how much it helped me, so maybe it will work for you? *crosses fingers*

Also, peppermint & ginger are two things which help nausea. I would suggest tasty peppermint teas, or ginger ale, or sometimes you can find candied dried ginger in bulk food sections of supermarkets, & that's good!

♥

[barefoottomboy.livejournal.com]

I have a relaxing Lush bath bomb [...] that, um, I still haven't used, cos when I use it, it will be gone

You have discovered the drawback of Lush bath products!

But it sounds like the lavendar smell helps, so you might want to try and find some lavendar oil instead: you can put a couple of drops on a hankie so you have the smell close to hand. I've also heard that putting a couple of drops on your pillow helps with falling asleep.

Other suggestions: yes to peppermint tea for nauseau and general relaxation. Chamomile is supposed to help with the latter as well, though I don't particularly like the flavour, so that never really works for me, but experiment with different soothing herbal blends!

Exercise also helps with the jitters, and I echo wanderlight's advice to do one or two little things. Something that has a physical result is always good, like tidying a sock drawer, or folding some clothes, or straightening out the top of your desk.

Then there's always the meditative breathing option, though I have to say I'm never very good at it. Try lying down flat on your back, lay your hands on your stomach, and concentrate on deep breathing for five or ten minutes. Just really focus on breathing in and out, relaxing as you do so. And/or imagine your muscles relaxing themselves, starting with your toes and working your way up your body. I find it easier to do this if I imagine my body as an empty vessel slowly filling up with warm/hot water, or slowly lowering itself into a warm bath.

And it's definitely important to give yourself permission to do 'nothing': that's always the biggest barrier I have to relaxation exercises, because I always feel like I should be doing something. I have to keep reminding myself that relaxing is incredibly important, as you're much more productive if you're not jittery and stressed when you're trying to get things done.

I hope you feel better soon!

*hugs*