[Subject Eradicated For No Good Reason]
Apr. 12th, 2006 10:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ontologyI don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't want to read. I can't write. My mind seems incapable of coming up with other things to entertain me. Things I generally find enjoyable, such as commenting, writing blog entries, and similar internet-related things, feel almost chore-like. All day it's been as if something isn't quite working properly. I've been tired too (is my mother's pregnancy exhaustion contagious?), and not-quite-irritable--a little too tired to be irritable. I watched LOST and read a delightful book on folklore today, and was slightly disappointed by both. It wasn't the material itself that was disappointing me. I don't know what was. Something intangible, maybe; some sense that even though I should enjoying myself, I wasn't.
Have I also mentioned that the ending of The Wise and the Lovely is reeking massively? Remus, of all people, has taken it in his head to be melodramatic, not to mention he can't speak without sentance fragments. He needs a better motivation, or a less cheesy way to say, "Yeah, I need you, even though it took me a bloody year to figure it out, so can we be happy and stuff now?" I've struggled with it so much that I don't even want to write anymore, especially when my last go at an ending resulted in a several-paragraph Sirius memory, which I rather like, but...blimey, it's getting too long. It needs to come full circle and END.
(I have the most pathetic angst. Making geeky punctuation icons helped, somewhat, until I discovered that my stupid program muddled up the red text when I saved, as usual, and now it looks like a hack-job by some kid with MS Paint. Sometimes, PhotoStudio isn't much worse, and GIMP's text is just BLOODY EVIL AND HATES ME. *curls up in a corner and cries*)
At least I seem to have regained enough clarity of mind to get my sense of humour back. Some of it, anyway. BAH.
I don't want to read. I can't write. My mind seems incapable of coming up with other things to entertain me. Things I generally find enjoyable, such as commenting, writing blog entries, and similar internet-related things, feel almost chore-like. All day it's been as if something isn't quite working properly. I've been tired too (is my mother's pregnancy exhaustion contagious?), and not-quite-irritable--a little too tired to be irritable. I watched LOST and read a delightful book on folklore today, and was slightly disappointed by both. It wasn't the material itself that was disappointing me. I don't know what was. Something intangible, maybe; some sense that even though I should enjoying myself, I wasn't.
Have I also mentioned that the ending of The Wise and the Lovely is reeking massively? Remus, of all people, has taken it in his head to be melodramatic, not to mention he can't speak without sentance fragments. He needs a better motivation, or a less cheesy way to say, "Yeah, I need you, even though it took me a bloody year to figure it out, so can we be happy and stuff now?" I've struggled with it so much that I don't even want to write anymore, especially when my last go at an ending resulted in a several-paragraph Sirius memory, which I rather like, but...blimey, it's getting too long. It needs to come full circle and END.
(I have the most pathetic angst. Making geeky punctuation icons helped, somewhat, until I discovered that my stupid program muddled up the red text when I saved, as usual, and now it looks like a hack-job by some kid with MS Paint. Sometimes, PhotoStudio isn't much worse, and GIMP's text is just BLOODY EVIL AND HATES ME. *curls up in a corner and cries*)
At least I seem to have regained enough clarity of mind to get my sense of humour back. Some of it, anyway. BAH.
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-13 03:18 am (UTC)Or, if you get film developed at Wal-Mart, and ask for a CD of all the pictures, it comes with a simple Photo Editing feature that has a wonderful, amazingly easy and good for being free text feature on it.
Erm, yeah, those are my suggestions.
Ugh, I know your writing woes. I'm still stuck in a huge writer's block. It's been bloody July since I've written anything decent. I have three WIPs that I haven't worked on in ages. I really think the move did something to me. *sigh*
I hope you feel better soon, darling. ♥♥♥
no subject
Date: 2006-04-13 07:32 am (UTC)*hugs you* *feeds you tea and chocolate biscuits*
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 01:26 am (UTC)But I think I know what you mean...I don't know that I'm in it presently, because I haven't had enough time to think about whether I'm feeling anything or not (though I suppose I'm really not), but...yeah. It's a rotten place to be. Not really low enough to feel angry or saddened or depressed, but certainly not right either, and you just sort of wander around wondering what went wrong. (Good heavens, I swear I was not trying to alliterate that.) *hugs you*
dark night, hold tight
and sleep tight my baby
morning light shall burst bright
and keep us here safely
(And you know, darling, you don't have to reply to these comments. Especially if that feels like a chore too.)