see, it's okay (post-christmas reflections)

[ontology]

Er. Well, I did say I would check in, and I did; I just didn't post, and then I was either too busy or too sleepy to check in after that. You can be, hopefully, be pacified by the admission that I did not post because I was busy having a splendid Christmas. :) It was splendid, in spite of all of my silly worries and the rubbish emotional baggage I've been lugging about; I didn't have any Great Hulking Expensive Main Gifts because we can't afford the ones I'm all desperate for just now (laptop, iPod, electric guitar, six-string banjo, hand-made costumery; I do have absurdly pricey tastes, don't I?), but I did get a jolly good load, and of course, gifts aren't the main point of the holiday, but they are rather nice to have, aren't they? :) Everything was very warm and cosy and lovely, and my cousin Andrea and I watched Pride & Prejudice on Boxing Day, which made a good week even better, you know? And--where gifts are concerned, I just love getting something, large or small, that really makes me feel loved, like I've been paid attention to, like someone got me a thing because they knew I would love and knew it would mean the world to me, even if it's only--well, Mum got me a hefty stick of summer sausage in my stocking, for one thing. I love summer sausage (especially on water crackers!), but it's too expensive to keep on hand often. Little things that tell me I'm being thought of, like that. I'll write up a proper list tomorrow, because I want to have pictures, but I did get a lot of spiffing and very useful gifts. (Useful  = something I can use. Therefore, books, music, clothing, food, and certain sorts of arbitrary trinkets are very useful and practical. Really!) 

I'm rather glad to be home, though, too--I want to play with my new treasures, and I...well, I need to be away from people. I can't be around them all the time; I begin to feel claustrophobic, even with the people I most like spending time with. Of course, Andrea doesn't hang about me all the time, and I don't feel as though I've got to entertain her--a few times I drifted off to read and she went off doing something else, and after a bit we congregated again and made merry, all the better for a bit of recharging. I love being able to sit in a room with someone and be silent and not awkward. We've known each other so long that we slip into a wonderful easiness whenever we meet as though we had never parted. (Also, we have more inside jokes than can possibly be counted, some of which are only funny because...well, they were funny when we were five and are now funny because we were five when we made them up.) 

My italics are atrocious. Goodnight, lovelies.

Comments

[whimsical-m.livejournal.com]

I feel claustrophobic around people (or a single person). I have a big family, so this is a bad thing, really. I suppose this is why I hide in my room as much as I do.

I often question myself as to why I consider myself to be social.

Mmm, summer sausage. I'm eating some right now. ^.^ My dad's a whore of it and Wal-Mart supplies it cheaply enough.

I am glad that you had a great Christmas!

[trolliepop.livejournal.com]

I really appriciate that most of my friends are the kind who understand that I need my alone time. If they see me by myself in the corner of the choir room, they know that I just need my quiet since I've been in school all day an that there's nothing wrong with me. I think that's why I love them all so much!

I'm glad you had a good Christmas! ♥