i would feel quite good if i didn't feel rotten, you know

[ontology]

The good news is that having my blood drawn was not quite as horrifying as anticipation had built it up to be. The worst part was trying to relax -- and then afterwards seeing the great vial of my blood on the table (I'd put my hand over my eyes and turned my head away and thought of Ten in spectacles while the actual deed was being done), which was larger than my longest finger. Unless the worst part was waiting, because things always are worse the longer the anticipation. I had to wait quite some time, because we'd somehow misplaced the sheet that told the lab people what to do with my blood after they took it out (Mum insists she gave it to me; I have no memory of this at all), so I had to sit in one waiting room while poor wee Leandra got checkup and a round of shots, which I take she was not pleased about, and she was exhausted afterwards. Then we had to go to another branch of the hospital and I had to sit in another waiting area with a number, waiting for someone to call it, for twenty-five minutes, while I tried to concentrate on Madeleine L'Engle (and mostly succeeded, actually). 

The bad news is that I woke up this morning feeling thoroughly rotten, and it hasn't really let up much since. I wasn't allowed to eat before getting my blood drawn, and by late morning, when I finally got ravenous (I usually have difficulty eating breakfast anyway), it sort of displaced the nausea for a while. After lunch, though, it came rushing back. It's much better when I'm sitting or lying down -- I get dizzy if I stand up for too long -- but it's still there, pushing and prodding and turning my insides over and around in funny directions. I have a suspicion it's a mild reaction to the immunisations I got yesterday (you do get a mild version of the disease, usually, though it isn't always noticeable). 

And, er, I reckon I didn't make myself very clear yesterday evening when I posted (my brain was not especially full of clarity anyway), but the doctor and I did talk about the depression, which was one of the reasons for the blood tests -- to see if there's a medical reason for it, other than the usual medical reasons for depression; maybe thyroid problems or -- something. She also prescribed me a medication for my acne, which I am very pleased about; I have been fighting with a nasty strain of acne since I began puberty (I was -- twelve?) and nothing's ever worked completely. I was allergic to the first stuff (that stuff you get at Wal-Mart, sort of sharp smelling), and mildly allergic to Proactive. I've been using Dial Soap, which works better than anything else has, but hasn't completely eradicated the problem (I still get vicious breakouts sometimes), and also dries my skin out badly, so I have to combat that with Eucerin. BLARGH, COSMETICS. I don't even want perfect skin (hasn't got any texture, v. dull): I just want it to stop having nasty red bump and patches all over it, ugh. 

So, yeah, blood tests + Mum looking into the counselling the doctor recommended which is covered by our medical assistance, I think -- and I really don't want to go on any medications until I talk to someone (unless it turns out that I have some mad disease that exists only to make me unhappy and unable to create -- that's the worst bit of all, you know? I don't mind being gloomy and dour and irritable as much as I mind not being able to write), and, um, this sentence has ceased to make sense. 

Also, the Men have gone away (camping), so Mum and Heidi and Leandra and I have the house to ourselves and plan to have pork chops (Dad can't eat them because his teeth are bad) and chocolatey things, hurrah! Also, DOCTOR WHO ON SATURDAY. And, um, my birthday next Sunday. Which is sort of frightening, now that it's suddenly leapt up and waved its arms distractingly.

Comments

[safebox.livejournal.com]

Oh you poor, poor dear, you. *sends love and snuggley things* Hope you feel better soon, and I especially hope that blood tests and counselling and medication and so on lead to good things for you.

[trolliepop.livejournal.com]

I hope the doctors and counselors are able to help you! It's awful feeling even the littlest bit not like yourself, and wretched when it comes in large doses. ♥

Do you own the new Pride and Prejudice? Our local Movie Gallery is having a $5 sale on all pre-owned movies, plus if you buy two you get two free. This means four movies for $10, and with your birthday coming up, I thought I would look for it when I go there tomorrow. If you do own it, could you let me know of two or three other movies to look for? I can't guarantee you that they'll have them, but I'll get one if they do!

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

♥

BECCA YOU ARE A WONDER. No, I don't own Pride & Prejudice and I look for it every time I go by FYE and see their used bargain DVD table or any other time DVDs are being sold for inexpensive prices. I would absolutely love it. :DDDD Um, trying to think of films that I would actually be able to watch around here (siblings make this difficult, and the telly is in the middle of the house -- argh!). The Princess Bride, The Incredibles, Pirates of the Caribbean (either), Chronicles of Narnia, The Importance of Being Earnest -- if you find any of those, I wouldn't mind having them.

YOU ARE THE BEE'S KNEES. ...Which is a phrase I have never used before and am never using again.

[midenianscholar.livejournal.com]

It is rather uncanny to watch your blood going away. When they took mine I actually accidentally looked at it after they got it in and got to watch it all. Not fun. And once you look you can't look away.

Counseling should be very good. It's always nice to talk to someone face to face and get advise.

And...there's pretty Faramir icons over at scholarsicons. :)

And...well, it might sort of ruin your birthday present (but normally I think of something crazy like two days before-hand to add on), but I'm planning on getting you a print of some of my photography. Would you prefer it to be something from a portfolio, something from our photoshooting last year, or just something of my photography? People or no people? Etc.

P.S. Do you get on AIM anymore?

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

One of the things I asked for in my Birthday List Dad Wanted Me To Write was 'stuff I can hang on my walls', so. :D I dunno, I'm terribly fond of that one photograph you took of the teacups, and I also really love some of the photos you took of me on the railroad tracks, especially the one where I'm picking flowers and the ones where you can't see my face because having obvious pictures of me on my walls might be sort of weird and seemingly egotistical. :D And the one I used for my profile pic on Xanga forever and ever with me running through the field with my shawl out behind me. I like them best in black and white, for whatever reasons.

So, um, surprise me! :D (You know, it being a Birthday Thing and all.)

Oh, and, at the moment, no, I haven't really been getting on AIM, because I don't use AOL for a browser anymore, So, it's not really on purpose; I just need to go and download the AIM software and stuff. :p

[midenianscholar.livejournal.com]

Alrighty. And I came up with another plot. Though I need a Certain Program to Work before I can do it. *bites said program* Depending on how cheap Walgreen's lets me pay for the pictures, and how cheap frames are, I may get more than one so you can have crowded walls just like me. :D

I see. AIM 6 or whatever it is tends to slow down my computer, particularly the laptop. :P Are you using Foxie now?

[builtofsorrow.livejournal.com]

Blood is one of those funny things that I don't mind unless it's my own. I mean, I'm not fond of it, and in large quantities it will always make me feel a bit ill, but if someone gets injured, I can deal with it enough to take care of it (though I have never understood others' fascination with showing off wounds). But there's something about seeing your blood in some vial that's just wrong, which I obviously don't need to tell you (and now I'm just rambling), so: -cuddles you- I'm glad that you survived the dreadful doctor visits. (I'd be much more inclined to like doctors if I could go see Ten & Martha when I were ill.) -cuddles again- ♥