ten thirty is too early to have to go to bed

[ontology]

I keep meaning to post, but d'you know, the more I procrastinate, the more daunting the post becomes. Things keep on happening -- little things, mostly, but things I feel obligated to write about for my own posterity if not your entertainment. (And I feel both as though I am harried and have too much pressing on me, and that there isn't anything to occupy me at all. I'm restless. And confused, but confusion is pretty much like breathing oxygen anymore.)

Well, the weekend will be busy; Dad's church has got an Easter party tomorrow morning and I am slated to awake at six thirty, which I am not looking forward to (and should probably start working on any minute now; I seem to require an obscene amount of sleep). I'm hoping it goes well, as we're trying to draw some more people, particularly families, to our church, which is currently very small and in need of growth. There will be food (breakfast), and -- I'm singing. Which I am kind of not very prepared for, so. Okay, they're easy songs, and I've mostly got them down, and they're the sort of folk songs that my voice wraps itself around the most easily, but I am nothing if not perpetually nervous and paranoid anyway.

Sunday is Easter. Where did that come from? All of the holidays have been springing up on me unawares this year, and Easter being unusually early does not help. I missed St. Patrick's Day entirely -- it was a Saturday, and I was out and about, as usual, and I didn't even listen to the radio. Or wear green. Or put on Solas, or the Chieftains, or anything. Actually I feel as though I've been missing a lot; days are going by much too quickly and insubstantially, and yet why do I feel that the moments are dragging on? Even spring -- I've been longing for it, and then suddenly -- oh, well, look, birds. Go back to my breakfast.

 Easter is always an awkward holiday for me, as I may or may not have mentioned before, because I never feel like I get it right. I feel like it ought to be sacramental, like it ought to feel important,  like I ought to feel more solemn or at least think about something, but I get up and watch the sunrise, eat a doughnut, put on a pretty dress that's entirely inappropriate for the weather, go to church, have a nice lunch, and then sleep off and on most of the rest of the day, and I think -- where's the reverence? Maybe everyone else is getting it and I'm not. I don't know. So I'm confused all over again every year.

And now I really ought to practice "By the Mark" about forty more times and force myself to sleep. World, why do we run on different clocks?

Comments

[take-a-sadsong.livejournal.com]

Aw, I think everyone has a different reaction and feeling to things that are sacred. There are tons of people who have absolutely no respect for Easter whatsoever, and probably take advantage of the Sunday to get drunk and watch television. But your desire to feel reverence is probably reverence itself, just in a different form than you think it should be.

My mom was actually talking about this today, and how in Catholicism especially the Easter weekend is taken which such pain and mourning. She said that some people in the Phillipines literally crucify themselves, but only long enough to cause them pain, not long enough to kill them. But still, that's incredible! I don't think God expects us to come anywhere near that sort of respect for the Holiday. And anyway, it really isn't the actual day he rose from the dead. It's just a day. You can celebrate and feel the appreciation for the crucifiction and resurrection anytime during the year. I always get down on holidays that way. Because it doesn't really matter. A day is just a day, but what is celebrated on certain days should be celebrated all year round (like mothers & fathers, our nation's independence, love, and irish people! :P).

So, I'm watching The Sound of Music for the first time in several years, and I hate to sound ridiculous in this observation, but is it just me, or was Christopher Plummer amazingly handsome? ^_^

I hope the service goes well for you, dear! I've never sung in front of an audience (save for the 43 kids at drama during auditions), so I think you are very brave for doing so! :)

God bless you, and Happy Easter! ♥

[charismitaine.livejournal.com]

(Christopher Plummer = perfectly lovely--how did I not notice this when I was little?)

[olde-fashioned.livejournal.com]

Hi again!

Just thought I'd let you know I've posted an icon featuring that picture of you from the quiz HERE (http://olde-fashioned.livejournal.com/65774.html). :-) If you would like me to add your username into the post telling everyone that it's you in the picture, I'll happily do so! (I wasn't sure you would like that, so I thought I would ask first)

[burningstarsxe.livejournal.com]

I can see why you feel like Easter's kind of empty. When I see most people's observance of Easter, I feel like it's empty, too. Me, I like the way we do it. ;)

[suangelita.livejournal.com]

*grins* Wait 'til you come see our service. :) It's gonna be beautiful, I promise you. :) And extremely different from any other Easter service you've been to. ;)

And St. Patrick's day was Monday, not Saturday, silly. March 17. ;) And I pinched you because you weren't wearing green, but I had put green ribbons in my Slayer hair. :D

[airys1.livejournal.com]

As for Easter, I think you get it right in your own way...everyone observes it differently, and the important thing is to remember what it means to us as Christians, really. While religious trappings can be great, I don't think they have as much bearing on our own hearts - they can help us to remember the reason for the holiday, but they can't make us _feel_ unless we're open to it already. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but for myself, anyway, I think that reverence comes in those moments throughout the year when you see something beautiful in the world and remember that He came so that it could be that way. Just my two cents :)

[charismitaine.livejournal.com]

The most meaningful Easter I've ever had was the year when I was in Chorale and we did a special concert of Liszt's Via Crucis, which is an incredibly, deeply moving piece of liturgical music.

I've never really thought about it, but Easter really has a very celebratory feel to it in our family--we do the whole egg-hunt thing, and my dad is downright gleeful about hiding eggs. So while we all take the sacredness very seriously, we're pretty lighthearted, which I think is a positive thing.

[midenianscholar.livejournal.com]

Unrelated: I'm participating in an online college fair right now, and I thought you'd be interested. It's called College Week Live...lemme find you a link... http://www.collegeweeklive.com/index.php

Anyway, they have it all separated by region, so I was wandering around and going, "Why is everything in Massachusetts?!" But then I figured it out. Anyway, again, I found one that's in Boston that looks really cool--I thought you'd be interested. ...And I was going to give you the name but the site is moving realllly slowly all of a sudden. I'll get it to you when it works again.

Anyway, it's still open tomorrow so if you wanna have a go you can register. :)

[everydayjoy.livejournal.com]

Your words are delicious and I am adding you to my friends list. I hope you don't mind...

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

Oh hey, this comment sort of got lost in the shuffle; I can't even remember what I was doing, only that I was somehow really busy. :p And hurrah, you like Rosemary Sutcliff!

[everydayjoy.livejournal.com]

Long live the Rosemary!