i just want to lie in the sand & have the sun shine down on me

[ontology]

The air is very lovely today, thick with warmth and sunshine -- it had rained from my birthday through Saturday, and while I enjoyed that very much, I did miss the sun. Oddly, this year I can't seem to get enough of the sunlight. I keep thinking of Robin McKinley's Sunshine, and how after her ordeal Sunshine would spend hours lying out of doors, drawing sunlight into herself -- craving it. Perhaps this past winter felt longer than most: nearly every time I step outside I am overcome by a knee-wobbling urge to fall backwards onto the grass and lie there, taking in the sunlight  the way cloth takes in water. (It would be awfully nice if I could draw on this stored sunlight during the winter months -- be some kind of wacky sunlight camel with stored light to subsist on when light is scarce!  --Hmm, put that one in the story file.) 

Sunday after church we went to a barbecue with several of my mother's internet friends. I ate two hamburgers and an obscene amount of fresh home-made peanut butter fudge, but honestly, can you blame me?

Today: doctor appointment, fetched Ritalin and new earbuds (purple) from Wal-Mart; am keeping the receipt in case they die quickly, as earbuds seem wont to do. Also fetched vanilla milkshake on the way home. *shifty eyes* Was complimented on my hair by a young man. Hmm. (I currently have rich purple locks of hair coming from my temples, and a couple of little stripes in the general arena of my former fringe.) Going to see my physician is frequently rather a confidence booster; she frequently seems to be quietly impressed with my independence and coping strategies for depression and ADHD, which makes me feel a bit better and bolder because I frequently think I'm doing rubbishly. (People ought to stop being so confident in me, honestly, especially in regards to telling me that I could totally get into Harvard.  Oh help. Don't get my hopes up, people! Harvard would probably pay most of my tuition if I got in, but.... no! I would never get in! Be quiet! ...It would be brilliant, though. OH HELP. The fact that more than two people have told me this is not helpful at all.) 

Comments

[burningstarsxe.livejournal.com]

Complete and utter agreement on the subject of sunlight. Rain is delightful, but only when warm, and sunshine is always glorious. Sometimes there is naught so nice as laying in grass in the sun. I really had ought to have been a cat.

It couldn't hurt to apply to Harvard, anyway. Especially if they would pay most of your tuition!

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

Yes, and for some reason I cannot get enough sunlight these days. If the sun goes behind clouds, it's not enough -- I get restless. Perhaps I need significant recharging. :P

We are lazy and pompous and enjoy sunlight and snark -- we should totally be cats! :D

[burningstarsxe.livejournal.com]

We definitely should. 'twould be most enjoyable.

[gules]

dude i totally support you coming to harvard with me! we could rock folk out & it would be brilliant. :DDDDDDDD

[gules]

also srsly how fabulous is ingrid olava? i had never heard of her until recently, but i kind of adore her. also, the fact that her stuff works as both foreground and background music is pretty amazing—and means i can listen to it all the time, yay!

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

Eee, I haven't even listened to the rest of the album yet, though it's on my to-do list, but Rita made me the most magnificent mixtape for my birthday and "Juliet's Wishes" is on it and it is marvellous. Mmmm, texturey piano music. Mmm, story-textured lyrics.

[wanderlight.livejournal.com]

*sneaks in to say*: VERY FABULOUS. I love the way it's foreground & background music too -- most of my favourite music tends to be that way. Not aggressive, so that it can slip into the background, but beautiful and textured enough to capture your attention completely when you listen in. :)

[gules]

see, i knew there was a reason you were one of my favorites! ♥ that is it exactly.

...and that description totally brings simon & garfunkel to mind—are you a fan of theirs, by any chance?

[wanderlight.livejournal.com]

No, I am not! Convince me that I should be? ;)

[gules]

don't let me forget to respond to this! :)

[wanderlight.livejournal.com]

*pokey pokey pokey* :)

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

AAAAACK. *pummels*

But, hey, an inside source! You seem to have really liked Harvard? And the fact that they still seem to have reached out to you when you dropped out seems like a sign of good things, yes? (INSIDE SOURCE AHAHAHA.) Are the classes huge and overwhelming? Is there good campus culture? Do they let you have a cat? (Shut up that's important. :p) Do the dorms have enough sunlight? Are teachers by and large helpful? What sorts of programs and projects can one involve oneself in? :D

...Harvard was kind of my dream school until I discovered Emerson, which is smaller and a little more tailored to my exact needs, but... it is unlikely that I would be unhappy to go to Harvard. I really really really want to be back in Boston, I can't even tell you.

[gules]

...okay, tomorrow i will have had this tab open for SIX WEEKS. *frowns at self* that is just not on, hence the (omg long!) placeholder comment. :)

so. i would be thoroughly happy to blather on about harvard! but i think it might be better to do that after i've been back for a while, and have a better sense of what a non-self-sabotaging (*crosses fingers*) student's experience is there?

& as a side note, i didn't drop out precisely—i was rusticated! the terminology is important to me here. ;)

things i can tell you right off, though: cambridge is FABULOUS. there are four bookstores (the coop, the grolier poetry book shop, harvard book store, & schoenhof's) nearby, three ice cream places (a ben & jerry's in the garage, herrell's, & lizzy's), two starbucks locations & one tealuxe. for the night owl, the abp in the square is open until 2 AM, although be forewarned, the hobos will hit on you; lamont is open continuously from 8 AM on sundays to 10 PM on fridays; & cvs is open 24/7. plus the banks of the charles are great for running, & for picnicking come springtime: not that i've done that, myself, but i've rowed past lots of people who were! & speaking of rowing, if you want to talk ~exclusive~ things wot townies can't do, radcliffe crew is the bee's knees, as are both cory bosworth & liz o'leary. as for music, the opportunes are pretty fantastic,¹ as are the dins & the kroks.

that said, despite the length of the preceding paragraph, this isn't a Proper Review at all—just fun things, & only the ones i can think of off the top of my head, at that. i will get back to you with more balanced & complete information in a month or three, if you still want it! <3

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¹ seriously, the other links may or may not be useful, but this one you should click—i promise, you need this track in your life. *_*

[everydayjoy.livejournal.com]

Cheery post is cheery!

(I needed that on a rather grey day here)

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

Glad to be of service! ♥ *doffs cap*

[tobie-rosemary.livejournal.com]

Do you *want* to go to Harvard, and why? (Aside from tuition being paid. ;) )

[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

I would love to go to Harvard -- it's right in Boston, which I miss terrifically, and I like the international community and the history and general scholarliness of it and what I've read about various classes and opportunities being available and the general culture of it (of course there would be rampant liberalism, but I'll encounter that everywhere, and I'd probably be equally uncomfortable in a heavily conservative environment for different reasons, and possibly more disillusioned); though I'm a little wary of Very Large Classes and the amount of students who got in on Daddy's prestige and spend all of their time drinking and partying. :/