i just want to lie in the sand & have the sun shine down on me

[ontology]

The air is very lovely today, thick with warmth and sunshine -- it had rained from my birthday through Saturday, and while I enjoyed that very much, I did miss the sun. Oddly, this year I can't seem to get enough of the sunlight. I keep thinking of Robin McKinley's Sunshine, and how after her ordeal Sunshine would spend hours lying out of doors, drawing sunlight into herself -- craving it. Perhaps this past winter felt longer than most: nearly every time I step outside I am overcome by a knee-wobbling urge to fall backwards onto the grass and lie there, taking in the sunlight  the way cloth takes in water. (It would be awfully nice if I could draw on this stored sunlight during the winter months -- be some kind of wacky sunlight camel with stored light to subsist on when light is scarce!  --Hmm, put that one in the story file.) 

Sunday after church we went to a barbecue with several of my mother's internet friends. I ate two hamburgers and an obscene amount of fresh home-made peanut butter fudge, but honestly, can you blame me?

Today: doctor appointment, fetched Ritalin and new earbuds (purple) from Wal-Mart; am keeping the receipt in case they die quickly, as earbuds seem wont to do. Also fetched vanilla milkshake on the way home. *shifty eyes* Was complimented on my hair by a young man. Hmm. (I currently have rich purple locks of hair coming from my temples, and a couple of little stripes in the general arena of my former fringe.) Going to see my physician is frequently rather a confidence booster; she frequently seems to be quietly impressed with my independence and coping strategies for depression and ADHD, which makes me feel a bit better and bolder because I frequently think I'm doing rubbishly. (People ought to stop being so confident in me, honestly, especially in regards to telling me that I could totally get into Harvard.  Oh help. Don't get my hopes up, people! Harvard would probably pay most of my tuition if I got in, but.... no! I would never get in! Be quiet! ...It would be brilliant, though. OH HELP. The fact that more than two people have told me this is not helpful at all.) 

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[faeriemaiden.livejournal.com]

Eee, I haven't even listened to the rest of the album yet, though it's on my to-do list, but Rita made me the most magnificent mixtape for my birthday and "Juliet's Wishes" is on it and it is marvellous. Mmmm, texturey piano music. Mmm, story-textured lyrics.