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Dear me, it seems that I forgot to let you lot know that I wasn't sick anymore. My apologies. I woke Saturday morning with no sign I had ever been sick, except for the massive ugly bruise on my thigh from the mysterious swooning spell, and five hours of pay I won't be seeing in my next paycheck. Sigh. And of course my body hasn't seen fit to warn me that while it appears to be absolutely as normal, it isn't actually ready to digest meat. Or sweets. Bah. (No vomiting or anything that unpleasant, just a lot of feeling vastly uncomfortable after meals, and being stubborn and feeling uncomfortable again.) 

Oh, I must tell you all what a lovely film Babette's Feast is -- Mum and I watched it yesterday evening. I was expecting to like it a bit, but sometimes older foreign films are harder to get into, I think, so I was also expecting to have to work at it a little. (A lot of my favourite films are older foreign films, it is true -- Wings of Desire, The Seventh Seal, Truly Madly Deeply if British counts as foreign! -- but it's still a very difficult genre.) And then it turned out to be utterly engrossing and charming and delightful! It's narrated, which gives it the air of a fable, and it's got such a gentle -- yet pointed -- and wry, good-hearted humour, and the visuals are lovely and simple, and it's terribly funny and touching. I found myself reminded a bit of L.M. Montgomery -- the story sounded as though it could have been one of her short stories, if she wrote about Denmark rather than Canada -- and a bit of Eva Ibbotson, and a bit of a quieter, less flamboyantly fantastical Amelie, and it's exactly the sort of film I would want to watch when I am sick, or sad, or just need to be quietly cosy. (It's also one of those period films that you don't think of as a period film, because everything seems so... absolutely organic.)

Feeling a bit undermotivated today; it's been a bit of a wasted day. I find I don't actually want to read any of the books I checked out from the library on Saturday, and am re-reading Robert K. Massie's biography of Nicholas and Alexandra Romanov instead. Missed a dose of Zoloft yesterday, which might have something to do with my mood (worry not; have acquired a refill); in general I've been a bit restless today -- restless and listless, which is especially uncomfortable. At least I have things to look forward to -- we are making summer plans, and I am beginning to be very excited about them. And I've acquired a bank account at long last, and must only wait for my debit card to come in the post. I am especially eager for this, as I would very much like to a) renew my paid account, and b) buy a completely working laptop of my very own. I have nearly settled on one, and the more I think about having it, and it being portable and working properly and utterly mine, the more I long to have it this very minute! (Oh, to watch DVDs in privacy! And to have a screen of proper brightness, and which doesn't need to be propped up! And battery power! And iTunes again! And wireless again again!) 
ontology: (Default)
I find that I am rather enjoying the mentally energised feeling that comes with one's fever breaking; although I am not entirely certain that it makes up for being in bed all day and missing five good hours of work, much less the first vomiting I have done in three years. And it was a Friday afternoon shift, too! Very busy! I love being busy with customers! Harrumph. 

So yes: yesterday everyone was sick but me, until suddenly around ten at night I began to feel the first curls of nausea, which steadily got worse; I took Pepto-Bismol and went to bed, and promptly woke up an hour later to vomit. This I wasn't expecting,  because I can remember the last time I vomited, and it was, as mentioned, a very long time ago. It was not pleasant. I really wished I hadn't eaten all of that rice for dinner, now that it was coming up in maggoty litttle lumps. Then I took more Pepto-Bismol and went back to bed, until about four in the morning, when I woke up to vomit again, thus terrifying the cat. And I missed the bathroom by a foot or so, which was awkward. And then I went back to bed (after soundly brushing my teeth), and the cat eventually rejoined me, which was very cosy of him.

This morning much of the nausea had abated, and I was stubborn enough to want to try to go to work. This involved me trying several times to get out of bed and failing. Half an hour before I had to be at work, I finally stood up, went over to the closet, and blacked out. I came to on the other side of the room, sitting, with a sharp pain in my thigh. It was very strange -- I had this -- sensation? hallucination? vision? -- in which I was crashing down something, very loudly, and it hurt, which imaginings don't usually do. In retrospect, both the imagery and the physical sensation afterwards heavily resembled Duchamp's Nude Descending a Staircase. (Brain, I don't even know.) And I know I must have crashed into a few things if I -- stumbled backwards across the room? Whatever it was I did when I blacked out that got me to the other side of the room. I may have hit my music stand and a bowl on the way, but they certainly didn't make all of the noise that I heard in my -- hallucination? And I asked if anyone had heard a crashing noise, and they hadn't. It was very strange, and sort of fascinating. I kind of want to know if it fits into a specific psychological something-or-other, and why I envisioned so much falling and crashing, or amplified the little that might have really happened...

Except then I was still saying I was going to go to work, because I am stupid. Only I couldn't stand up for more than a minute at a time without feeling horrible. Or sit up comfortably. ...Look, I really like my job. I finally decided in favour of actual sense (and also in favour of not infecting my poor co-workers) and called in sick, and spent the rest of the day lying in bed, occasionally listening to music or NPR, and falling asleep rather frequently. Oddly, some of my senses seemed amplified, which was sort of enjoyable, where music was concerned -- I felt sound very intensely, and listening to Ashtar Command's "In Dust" and Conjure One's "Center of the Sun" was very fascinating.

Leandra, age two, came charging in around sevenish to give me my wallet: she found my iPod on the bed, put the earbuds on, and demanded, "Lai-lai, please?", referring to this song by Rupa and the April Fishes, which for some reason is her very favourite song ever. Her whole face lights up whenever she hears it playing, and she starts dancing round in little circles, which is adorable. After Lai-lai, we listened and danced to Benny Goodman, the Beatles, Abigail Washburn, and Crooked Still. Hee.

And then I dressed in my softest, cosiest cotton dress, just in time for sunset. I think I can go to work tomorrow evening -- and I'll need my strength tomorrow, because Heidi's having a birthday party, which means there will be a horde of little girls from about seven to twelve shrieking through my house, oh help.
ontology: (Default)
I've been having a terrifically odd day.

Most of the morning and early afternoon was spent being very, very cross and sick and blowing my nose every ten minutes or less -- fortunately we have very soft Kleenex so my nose is, for once, not red and raw -- and eating toast for my very sore throat and stalking up and down the stairs and drinking a lot of water and not having any orange juice or lemon drops alack alack and my body deciding that now was exactly the time to issue forth all sorts of obnoxious niggling complaints besides the coldiness, such as extreme itching in the ears, and limbs insisting on bumping themselves against things when I stopped paying attention.

in which a lot of interesting things happen, including profuse bleeding, potential job opportunities, and emo bicycles. )

Tonight: lit candelabrum and some pre-bedtime music-listening. Tomorrow: job interview, and worship practice/general out-hangage with Jonathan. Soon: talking without coughing?
ontology: (Default)
Item I: [livejournal.com profile] lady_moriel linked me to this, and it is Awesome. Seriously.

Item II: Since we're on the topic of superheroes, another question, because I am stucker than stuck: What do you think would be a really awesome (and scientifically plausible) superpower?

Item III: I feel like a dead thing that has died. Also, a colony of nose dwarves are tunnelling through my sinuses with dull spoons. BLEHHH.

Item IV: There's a new [livejournal.com profile] tuesday_skyline bit up. Yes, I am a lazy git: did you need to ask?

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